Reflect & Refocus
As we close out 2021, let’s take a look back to reflect and celebrate the highs and find the lessons amidst the lows. This year has been a beautiful and difficult blend of both for me as I’m sure for everyone else too. While I share some of my greatest moments from the year past, I want to show you the flipside of the story and share some of the hard parts too.
In this episode, we’ll chat about:
Highs and lows of 2021, including a behind the scenes of my Kelly Clarkson Show and Rise Conference experience
Questions and prompts to help you reflect on 2021 and refocus for the new year ahead
A pep talk and encouragement to help you start the year off on the right foot
Hello, friends, and congrats. You made it through another year!
As we close out 2021, I want to take some time to look back and reflect on the wins big and small. There is so much to be grateful for and celebrate. That being said, of course this year had its fair share of hardship and struggle, too.
While dwelling on the past and staying stuck in it isn’t helpful, it can be our greatest teacher. Failure isn’t an identity, but an event, an opportunity to learn valuable lessons to help us grow in the future. So as we reflect back on the good stuff, let’s not forget to look at the hard stuff too for the teaching it has to offer us.
Life isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a series of rigid mountain ranges with endless peaks, valleys, and plateaus. Once you reach the top of one mountain, there is another mountain to climb.
In a recent Reflect & Refocus workshop inside of my Climb community, I asked Climbers to make a graph reflecting the peaks and valleys of their year. The highs might reflect happy moments like special memories made with loved ones, job promotions, births, weddings, goals achieved, and so on. Valleys may reflect burnout, sickness, crisis, and other hardships that may have ensued.
We ALL have a mix, don’t be mistaken in thinking that other people's lives don’t. It’s the blend of peaks, valleys, and plateaus that make life so beautiful, difficult, wonderful, hard, joyful, and sorrowful all at the same time. It’s all part of the human experience.
HIGHS AND LOWS OF 2021
Tune in to the episode for more details, but here’s a quick recap of a few highs and lows of my 2021.
I got married to my husband Brent on May 8th at my family’s rural California ranch. It was a beautiful, wonderful day that I will cherish for the rest of my life. But, it was also one of the hardest things I did this year. Let’s just say event planning is not my strong suit and I hit major decision fatigue, not to mention the stress of planning a wedding during a global pandemic. It was an incredible day, but had its fair share of stress, money, time, energy, and drama with it too.
My business grew in revenue and offerings. I launched my online coaching membership community Climb and had the honor of working with hundreds of women all around the world. I launched this podcast and my online store too! Amidst the growth in my business and launching of new products, I had to face my own entrepreneurial battles of comparison, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome. It felt at times like I was playing dress up, as if one day people would realize that I wasn’t cut out for the work I was doing. I had to learn how to be resilient as a recovering people pleaser and navigate handling rejection without taking things personally as a business owner. Some days I feel like I can take on the world, but other days I feel like I’m barely holding on. My business challenges me every single day, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I kicked off my speaking career and was a guest on the Kelly Clarkson Show. It was such an honor to be asked to be a guest to share my story on the show and witnessing the behind the scenes of a national TV show was such an incredible experience. Being surprised with Rachel Hollis, the woman whose book Girl, Wash Your Face was the catalyst for my personal development journey, was unreal. Not to mention the opportunity to be a keynote speaker on the RISE stage in Austin, TX! But what you may not have seen was the behind the scenes of navigating a social media controversy that happened around the same time, postponing the conference, that made me hesitate to get too excited about celebrating the opportunity.
As we end this year, I feel like I’m pulling myself out of a bit of a funk. While there is so much to be thankful for this last year and many highs to celebate, it has come with comparison, self-doubt, and hardship. I’m learning how to give myself space and grace to be human as I learn life lessons through failure and take the next baby step forward.
Here are some questions and journal prompts to help you reflect on 2021:
END OF THE YEAR REFLECTION JOURNAL PROMPTS:
What did the peaks and valleys look like for your climb this last year?
What brought you the most joy this last year?
What moments or memories are you grateful for?
How did you show up for yourself and well-being this year?
What habits did you start?
What are you most proud of?
What are some of your biggest wins?
What was most challenging this year?
What are some of the ways you failed?
What lessons did you learn through that?
What did you learn about yourself?
What got in the way of your success?
What would you do differently if you could?
How are you different today than just one year ago?
GROW THROUGH IT
If this year felt hard for you, I want you to know you’re not alone. When we are in low seasons, it can feel isolating, like we’re the only one going through it. It can be hard to recognize in the moment, but the low seasons are just as important as the high ones. It’s the hard stuff in the end that becomes most beautiful because it is through struggle that we find our strength. It’s an important part of our journey and our transformation.
I made this watercolor illustration of a cow a couple of years ago and it still remains one of my favorite ways to describe the human experience. The truth is that sometimes it feels like life craps on us. Maybe it’s financial hardship, sickness, loss of a loved one, missed opportunities, or what have you. In the moment, it just stinks. But what I know as someone raised in agriculture is that there is more to it than just crap. Manure is also the world’s greatest fertilizer. Within that crap are nutrients that help plants flourish and bloom into their strongest, most beautiful versions. And I think the same is true for us too. When life deals us a crappy hand, we have to trust that on the other side of those hardships, we will grow into stronger, more resilient and whole versions of ourselves.
Progress is happening even if you can’t see it. We must have faith that we’re growing and continue watering those seeds of hope in faith until one day the seed bursts through the surface.
LOOKING AHEAD AT A NEW YEAR
I love the excitement and motivated energy that comes with a new year. It feels like a fresh start. That being said, we put so many unrealistic expectations and pressure on the month of January.
When we think about time, what is the big difference between December 31st and January 1st? Sure, we change the calendar year, but really it is just one day in time like any other. We create arbitrary lines in time, but one day to the next looks a lot the same.
The truth is that how we start the year is a direct reflection of how we end the year, one flows into the next pretty seamlessly. The same goes for the way we start each day, it is a direct reflection of how we ended our night. If we stayed up until 2 am on a drinking bender, odds are we aren’t going to wake up feeling bright-eyed and bushy tailed to have a wildly successful and energized morning at 6 am. In order to start the year strong, that means we have to end the year strong.
As we head into the new year, let’s be honest with ourselves about where we’re at and start the year off in a gentler way with more realistic expectations of what we can accomplish, and more importantly maintain, as we continue from one day to the next.
ONE BIT, DON’T QUIT
Quick fixes only get temporary results. Sustainable changes and long-term transformation need to be approached differently.
Instead of trying to dive into the deep end and do ALL the things starting day one of 2022, try this instead.
Pick ONE thing, one small habit or action, and commit to doing just that each day for the month of January. Maybe it’s drinking an extra glass of water, reading a chapter of your book, meditating for five minutes, or going for a walk each day. You decide.
There is magic in the baby steps, yet we resist starting small because we’re afraid it won’t make a difference. Remember, however, that progress is happening even when you can’t see it. The most important thing isn’t instant results, but sustained consistency. It helps us rebuild trust with ourselves. Perhaps the most important part of any journey isn’t reaching the destination, but the person we become along the way.
What ONE BIT are you committing to in the new year?
Here are some questions and journal prompts to help you refocus for the new year ahead.
NEW YEAR REFOCUS JOURNAL PROMPTS:
What do you want to leave behind in 2021?
What would leaving that behind make space for?
I want to say yes to…
I want to say no to…
With the lessons learned in 2021, what might need to shift or change?
Am I creating a lifestyle that I love? Is this lifestyle one I’m willing to stick with? What am I really willing to commit to?
How do you want to show up to make yourself proud?
What do you hope your future self will be thanking you for?
How can I honor my future self today?
What can I do to get one baby step closer to the person I am striving to become?
What simple habits can I begin implementing from where my feet are currently planted?
In order to take these actions towards my goal, I want to feel…
In order to feel that way, I need to think…
A word, phrase, or mantra that remind me of that is…